posted Tue, 12 Oct 2004
So my friend “Bitsy” (not her real name, but I promised I would change all names if I posted this) and her husband “Biff” bought a fourplex a couple of years ago as an investment property. They painted and scrubbed and tiled and in general made it a nice place to live.
They were re-doing the kitchen in one of the apartments when this guy shows up and wants to rent it. It’s not ready, they tell him. Next week. He wants it NOW. But we’re still working on it, they say. He wants it NOW. Well, OK, they say, as long as you understand that we will be here in the evenings after work to finish painting and laying tile.
This guy comes back with a woman – a very young woman – who turns out to be his girlfriend. For whom he is paying the rent. He is much older. You may draw your own conclusions here.
A few days after she moves in, Bitsy and Biff are working in the kitchen. Mr Impatient storms into the room and asks if they can’t skedaddle – that their presence is inhibiting his relationship. His ability to be intimate.
Fast forward. All sorts of stuff happens. Bitsy is going to have to add the details in the comments section. Gist of it is that the girlfriend ditches the guy, marries a man who beats her, and gets a job as a stripper.
Now here’s what I hear from Bitsy. She and Biff evicted the stripper, who came back to the apartment and broke all the windows. Biff called the cops, who refused to get involved. (This is why we pay taxes?) My involvement so far has been to tell Bitsy how to replace the glass.
Here’s Bitsy’s email:
She was a stripper, and made the mistake of telling Biff that she could make $1000 in one weekend, so there was just NO SYMPATHY on our part for late rent. She had a million excuses. AND THEN she bought a car - it was a junker, but she bought it rather than pay rent. It didn't even run. Her hubby had a great car and could have taken her to work every night.
She skipped both court dates. The process server went over on a Fri morning to serve the papers, and she wasn't home. We'd given our attorney a key so that his movers could get in, and they carted all her stuff to the curb. When she finally got home later in the morning, half her stuff was gone. She started calling us screaming about it - as if she didn't know she needed to pay rent to stay there. She told me that she was going to sue us.
She also said that Biff and I are "cokeheads" - she knows because Biff has tried to buy coke from her before (according to her) - and we are just trying to take advantage of people who aren't cokeheads who are having a hard time (never mind that she can make $1000 in a weekend and bought a car).
Also – she called Biff and said that she knows he's sleeping with Debbie (our tenant who is a LESBIAN) - it just got weirder and weirder. I quit answering her calls after the first two. She called and called and called. And screamed and threatened. The saddest part about the whole thing is that she came away learning NOTHING from it. She still is stripping (maybe if she ever goes to work) and is still married to her wife-beater, and still hasn't got any of her shit together. Oh well - at least we don't have to deal with her anymore. What a trip. It was really really bizarre.
I think it's hysterical. I wish you could have heard the message she left. She was out of her mind. I called the other tenants because she was hanging out there. I wanted to apologize for any disturbance, and asked them to let me know if she were to cause any problems. I didn't give details, just said that she didn't live there anymore. Debbie asked if she were evicted, and I said that out of respect for her privacy I didn't want to say any more, and Debbie said "well, I'll say more - she could have paid her rent. I saw the car she bought."
She had also been having ongoing screaming fights with her husband (who didn't live there - I don't know what was up with that - at one point she told Biff that her husband could divorce her and marry her sister and they could still see each other - ????????). So I also apologized to the tenants for the noise. So our new tenant, Nelson, spent the rest of the day watching her from the upstairs window and calling us to say that she wouldn't leave. I think he got a kick out of the drama. That's how we knew to call the cops - he called and said it looked like she was trying to break in.
Oh - and her pit bull got put to sleep. We told her that Animal Control had picked it up, so that she could go get it. But instead, she spent the rest of the day calling and screaming at us and breaking into the EMPTY apartment. The next day she called to tell us that later on they'd put her dog to sleep - that was our fault too.
Her lease said that she couldn't have pets.
The end of the line
11 months ago