Thursday, October 1, 2009

Revenge of the gardener

posted Sun, 29 Aug 2004

I should never have let them plant the tree in my front yard. All it has done is cast shade on my flowerbeds. The flowerbeds that I dug myself – stabbing the shovel into the heavy clay, turning the soil so the grass roots would die, tilling it, mixing sand, peat moss, and composted manure in with it – then planted and watered.

Everything I planted was for full sun. That means sun all day, not sun just when it is not behind the tree. The flowers grew just fine before, but now, that damn tree blocks the light and the flowers have gone away. Either they refuse to bloom or have died altogether.

It’s not just the crushing disappointment of not seeing the blooms that should have been there that bothers me. Gardening is not a cheap hobby. I have spent so much on garden supplies and plants that it would be in my financial interests to switch to heroin.

Before I had it planted – my neighborhood association did it for free – I asked if the tree would affect my flowerbeds. Oh, no, the tree guy assured me. Your flowerbeds will be fine.

Yeah, right. He had his own agenda. I don’t know what sick end he was pursuing, but he lied to me as a means to reaching it. Well, let me tell you something, buster. Yeah, I’m talking to you. The end does not justify the means.

It just came to me. I’ll bet he was sabotaging my chance to win the yard of the month award. It’s all clear now! He saw the gorgeous garden I was building and he couldn’t bear it. He knew his yard would never win if it were competing with mine.

That is so low. I am going to get even. I’ll let you know what I decide to do as soon as I think of something suitably mean. I am open to suggestions.

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