Friday, November 27, 2009

As long as it cuts chocolate

posted Tue, 28 Dec 2004

When Harpo told me about the Swiss Army knife (SAK) that was awaiting me back at home, we started to talk about the different kinds of knives they make. They have done a good job of segmenting their markets. I’d like to have the job of figuring out what different knives they should make.

We decided that even though there are already a lot of great specialized Swiss Army knives, there are still some market segments left unaddressed.

The vegan market, for example. What sort of knife would a vegan need? I guess it wouldn’t have to cut meat, but then, I am an omnivore and I have never been compelled to cut meat with mine, although that’s because I have never been lost in the forest with only my SAK to keep me safe and fed. My version has a fish scaler – a vegan wouldn’t need that. Unless he would have to scale the fish to get to the bones to make say, a corset. Or a needle to sew the organically-grown and kindly-woven hemp garment.

What about the NOW feminist knife? No tweezers, but something to hack off hair and anything pertaining to femininity and to separate men from their – uh – masculinity. Call it the Lorena Bobbitt model.

An organic, crunchy-granola, tree-hugger version? An attachment to frighten away all those bugs and squirrels that want to eat the tomatoes in your garden – maybe a little scarecrow?

The anti-war SAK: nothing except a compass that has no direction. Certainly no knife, because that would imply that in some cases, force might be appropriate. Better to let yourself be killed than to defend yourself.

That’s all I can think of for now, but I’m sure you guys have some great ideas. Let me know.

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