posted Wed, 15 Dec 2004
When I asked a colleague if he had life insurance for himself, he looked shocked and answered, “Of course!” He has three boys: one about four and twins aged two.
But then he mused, “But we don’t have that much on Liz. Enough to bury her, but if she died, I’d have to hire a nanny.”
It worked for Maria. Was Captain von Trapp a hunk or what?
A nanny for three little boys would not come cheap. And would she stay? Little boys and nannies do not have a good history in children’s stories.
My grandmother has given up on me now, I think, but when I was in my twenties and early thirties, she was always giving me helpful advice on how to land a man.
She scolded me about speaking too fast. “You talk faster than a Philadelphia lawyer,” she said. “No man wants to marry a woman who talks fifty miles a minute.”
“Have you considered marrying a widower who needs help raising his young children?” she wrote to me when I was in Chile. “A woman who was in your mother’s class in high school did that. She was very tall and lives in Milwaukee now.”
I laughed, but the irony is that my sister – is dating a widower with a young child. And my cousin Mary Liz – married a widower with young children. At least I think he’s a widower.
If you think about it, a widower has certain advantages over a divorcé. He did not choose to end his marriage. There would be no ex hanging around (live and in person, that is). It is entirely possible that they had a great relationship and that he is capable of having another one. (Caveat: Remember that I am someone who has made it to 41 without ever marrying, so there are significant doubts about my abilities in the relationship department.)
Maybe instead of looking in personal ads for men, women should look in the obits – kind of like New Yorkers look there for apartments. Hmm. Maybe I could write a book about this.
Marriage 501, Lecture 823: Who cleans the vomit?
17 hours ago