Wednesday, November 11, 2009

How to channel your aggression through your poodles, or, psychologist, heal thyself

posted Fri, 26 Nov 2004

One thing I forgot to mention in my post about Leigh’s baby shower a few weeks ago: the shower was unmarred by dogs peeing on the presents. (I know I’ve told this story here before, but it merits re-telling for new readers.)

Such was not the case at her bridal shower. Her friend “Nancy” hosted that shower. Nancy, a psychologist (I am not making this up) has two stupid, yappy toy poodles (as if there were any other kind). The poodles were, understandably, quite agitated at having all these strangers in their home.

Their first crime was to attempt escape every time Nancy opened the door to let in a guest. Really, though, this was Nancy’s crime. She should have known better. “Don’t let the dogs out!” she would warn the arriving person, which would leave that person quite perplexed as to how she was supposed to get into the house while holding a present and a door yet not let two loose dogs escape.

Their second crime was pooping on the floor in the bathroom right next to their regular pooping place (a towel on the floor – is that gross or what?), a classic sign of poodle rebellion if I have ever seen one and believe me, I have seen many. Those dogs knew exactly where they were supposed to poop and they on purpose did not go there.

I was not the one who discovered this crime, as I was busy using the other bathroom with the toilet that wouldn’t flush and then started to overflow, so I had to take the top off the tank and push the lever so the whatchamacallit thing would cover the hole where water goes into the bowl.

When I alerted Nancy to the toilet problems, she assured me she knew about it, which made me wonder why she had not warned those of us who might actually use the toilet for its intended purpose, but in retrospect, it’s pretty clear that Nancy had some fairly strong feelings of hostility toward Leigh or maybe toward Leigh’s other friends and was expressing them through her dogs and her bathroom.

Megan was the one who alerted Nancy about the dog poop on the floor in the other bathroom – and Nancy still didn’t put the dogs out.

Then we discovered the dogs had peed on Leigh’s presents.

Did Nancy put the dogs out then? No! (And let me say it wasn’t like it was nasty, freezing weather or anything. I don’t even think I had worn a coat to the shower.)

It was not until we were eating and the dogs continued to bark frantically and jump on everyone (I hate it when dogs jump on me) that Megan finally told Nancy in no uncertain terms to “put the f---ing dogs outside.”

Nancy was so shocked that she did so, but she has probably hates Megan to this day for criticizing her babies. The rest of us, however, were thrilled that Megan had spoken.

Nancy never did apologize to Leigh about the pee on the presents as far as I know. She didn’t come to the baby shower.

1 comment:

  1. Man, here I was hoping to see the 'Poodle with a Mhohawk' cartoon, which you had posted long, long ago--in a blog far, far away...White Chocolate