Monday, November 30, 2009

My dog, my self

posted Sun, 02 Jan 2005

A colleague was telling me about her weekend a while ago. “Max and I went to a birthday party. And then we did this. And then we did that. And then Max and I blah blah blah.”

I was thinking, “Does she have a new boyfriend I haven’t heard about? Who’s Max?”

I was very confused.

Then I realized Max was her dog.

Don’t you think that’s weird? To talk about your dog the way you’d talk about another human? I can see taking your dog to the park or wherever, but I can’t see including him that way in your description of the day.

I would maybe say – if I were a dog person, which I am not – “I took my dog to the park.”

But I wouldn’t say, “Max and I went to the park.”

Cat people never talk like that. Cat people never say, “O’Malley and I went to the movies, then out for a bite.”

First of all, you’d never get a cat to go out socially with you. They are snobs and agoraphobics, so they aren’t going to leave the house with you and risk having one of their cat friends see them out in public with an inferior human.

But second, cat people understand the difference between cats and people. They don’t talk about their cats as if they are people. They might talk about their cats as if they are their children, but that’s its own brand of weirdness.

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