Thursday, November 12, 2009

Walking medium tall

posted Mon, 29 Nov 2004

I am not one to go about telling others what to do [that's a lie: I love to boss people around and run their lives], but sometimes I make exceptions when what others are doing is a particularly egregious violation of our social norms.

I don’t like it when people who are not handicapped park in handicapped spaces. I don’t like it when someone with more than 12 items gets into the express lane at the grocery store. And I really don’t like it when someone hogs two parking spaces in a small parking lot when I am looking for a parking space.

True justice would be if this car were on fire and the firemen couldn’t get to the hydrant.
Source: http://www.myspaceantics.com//images/myspace-graphics/funny-pictures/fire_hose_through_car.jpg

This happened to me this morning. I had to go to the optical shop. My glasses are sick, but that’s not important. This shop is next to a Starbucks, a cellular phone store, and a Pella window store. For some reason, there is never any parking. I wouldn’t think these stores would draw so much traffic, but there you go.

I circled the lot twice, which actually meant going around the buildings to the back street, in hopes of finding a parking space. No luck. I finally parked at the bank next door and hiked around mud puddles and over the concrete wall to get to the shop. On the way there, I saw a brand-new Cadillac – still with the paper tags – parked in two spaces.

This was not an accidental, got a little bit into the next space parking job. This was an on purpose, I am going to hog two spaces because I don’t want anyone to touch my car situation.

There was a traffic cop parked next to the Caddy. I knocked on his window and asked if he couldn’t give a ticket to the Caddy. Not in a private parking lot, he said with regret.

So I left a note on the windshield – a citizen’s arrest, as it were – commenting that this behavior was rude and inconsiderate. (BTW, I do not mind if someone wants to take two spaces in a huge parking lot when there is plenty of room for other cars. But such was not the case here.)

In the optical shop, the clerk and I were speculating about the driver of the Caddy. We assumed it was a little old lady, which made us very confused about the parking rudeness, because little old ladies are usually not rude parkers. But what other type of person buys a Cadillac?

When I left the optical shop, the Caddy was pulling out. I walked fast so I could see who was driving it. What kind of person would be so rude?

The car stopped and the window came down. There was a man, maybe late 20s, early 30s, sitting at the wheel.

“You the one who wrote something and put it on my car?”

Yes, I answered.

“What you writing about?”

I wanted to ask if he could read, saying that illiterates are not required to follow the rules of polite society, but held myself to commenting that his taking two parking spaces seemed inconsiderate of other drivers.

“You find a place to park?”

Yes, way over there.

“So what's your problem? I’ll take three spaces if I want. Don’t be writing things and putting them on my car.”

I know your mama didn’t raise you that way, I told him.

“I’ll kick your ass!” he yelled at me.

I just walked away, clenching my fist to keep from flipping him off. What a jerk.

My friend the cop told me to get the license number of anyone who bugs me like that and he will take care of him. I’ll remember that in the future.

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