Saturday, January 30, 2010

Ditch the bitch and make the switch

posted Mon, 13 Jun 2005

Ilene and I started wondering: if we were lesbians, with whom would we want to sleep?

Or, even better – even if we weren’t lesbians, with whom would we want to sleep? Or whatever. You know. My mom reads this blog. I have to keep it somewhat clean.

The only bad thing about being on the same team is that another woman will steal your chocolate. The good part is you can share shoes and clothes.

Because really, I think I would make an exception for Angelina right now. She is that hot.

But I have been running names through my mind all day of other women (or, should I say, “womyn”) and I can’t think of anyone else who inspires that reaction in me. Yes. I have been doing this instead of working. I owe my employer a refund. But considering that on Friday, they eliminated the jobs of everyone in my building except the ten in my group, I don’t feel too bad.

Ilene suggested Sharon Stone, but blondes have never done it for me. Even female blondes.

Then again, I never saw “Basic Instinct.”

Maybe Kathleen Turner in “Body Heat.” That was pretty steamy. I saw it when I was a freshman in college and I thought it was a porn movie. Mom, it wasn't. Don't worry. I had just been very sheltered.

None of the others in the current crop make me want to make the switch, though. Yeah, if I already went the other way, they’d be fine. For sure, I would want someone pretty like Cindy Crawford or Eva Mendes or Gabrielle Union. (What is it with those mullet-headed, flannel-shirted, mannish types? Why not just get a man if that’s what you want? Even though I cannot possibly think of any circumstance where I would find a mullet acceptable in a man or a woman.) But I can’t think of anyone on whom I would want to nibble right now.

But Angelina. Man. That chick smolders.

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