The Few, the Proud, the Completely Exhausted

posted Tue, 17 May 2005

This morning wasn’t so easy at boot camp. We were with Alpha Company again. This was calisthenics and weights day. I have been working with weights for a few years now. I bought ten-pound hand weights yesterday. I didn’t get 12-pounders because they were $3 apiece more and as you know, My People Don’t Waste Money and I just didn’t think they were worth that much more. It was a dilemma, though, because I thought I might be wasting my $90 boot camp fee with such wimpy weights.

Ha. It was to laugh.

For years, I have been patting myself on the back just for showing up at the gym.

I have also been wondering about these women who write to fitness magazines raving about miraculous changes wrought in just six months of working out. They send photos.

“I’ve been working out for years and haven’t seen that level of transformation,” I’ve grumbled to myself.

“Drugs,” I’ve muttered under my breath.

”Photoshop.”

“Bitch.”

No, sometimes I am not a nice person.

Well.

Now I know why I haven’t seen step changes in my physique. It’s not because there is nothing more that can be done to improve my bod.

It’s because I do a little work, then stop to chat with my buddies, the little old Jewish men and women at the JCC. For every three minutes I spend working out, I spend four goofing off.

This might be a fun way to spend a lunch hour, but it is not an efficient way to exercise.

In addition to making us yell “Marine Corps!” (something no self-respecting air force brat can do with a straight face), Tony did not let us rest. He made us do pushups. He made us do sprints in between every few sets of weights. Jumping jacks after every set. He didn’t let us rest at all. There were no conversations about good books or Judeo-Christian ethics or what sorts of foods one prepares for pesach. (How about an all-chocolate seder? It can be done.)

How am I supposed to stay current on Important Life Issues if I am being rushed, rushed, rushed this way?

I don’t know about all this. I know I spent the money, but really.