Well. As if needing two pairs of glasses weren’t enough. As if not being able to eat a jar of pickles – or even a few pickles! – before bed without puffing up like a blowfish the next day weren’t enough. As if the little lines around the eyes, the gray hairs (and not just on the head, if you know what I mean and I think you do) weren’t enough.
I have just discovered another one of the indignities of hitting the 40s.
After a week of PE, I was planning to rest on my laurels this weekend, but this is what it feels like when my laurels touch the seat.Source: http://www.studio-international.co.uk/studio-images/pain/chair_b.jpg
I am not going to go into gory detail. Suffice it to say it involves buying a lotion that starts with the word “Preparation.” But not until after I spent one very uncomfortable, almost sleepless night trying to figure out just what the heck was wrong with me.
If you laugh, if you even snicker, then when this happens to you – and it will, I assure you, for I am the most fiber-eating, water-drinking, exercising fool you could find and I do not deserve this – then may a double pox be upon you and your house.
And how about this? I wanted to call my doctor about this but wait! I don’t have an office any more! I can’t close my door and speak privately! Every word I say can be heard by my colleagues. Great. Just the sort of information I want made public.
Instead, I spent a day emailing questions to an expert who shall remain anonymous out of respect for her privacy but trust me, she has reason to know. I know as much as anyone can about this issue now.
I just can’t wait to see what happens when I hit 50.
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