Only two locker rooms?

posted Fri, 08 Apr 2005

Swimming at the Y this week reminded me of my time in Cedar Rapids. I swam at the Y there every morning at 5:30. It was a lot more crowded than the JCC is. Maybe people in Iowa are just a little bit off. Who knows?

Anyhow, here at the JCC, I usually have the showers and the locker room all to myself. But in Cedar Rapids, I had to share. The Y has group showers instead of individual stalls.

There was an episode of Designing Women where a beauty queen friend of Suzanne’s comes out to her. Suzanne is shocked and afraid until the friend says that she has no romantic interest in Suzanne – that she considers Suzanne a friend and nothing more. Then Suzanne is insulted. “You don’t find me attractive?” she demands.
Source: http://static.hometheaterforum.com/imgrepo/9/93/htf_imgcache_42154.jpeg

There were these two women who would work out together every morning. They were middle aged, with poufy, teased hair. They would arrive at the Y already showered and made up with their hair done. I thought that was kind of weird – why bother to groom yourself before going to the gym? You are going to have to shower again anyhow.

But they were there, all dressed and ready to go.

When they were done working out – and this is the part that grosses me out – they would not shower but would just spray deodorant over the sweat in their armpits.

Now it gets really gross.

They would spray deodorant in their crotches.

Yes. Each would pull the front of her underpants forward, aim the can, and spray. This is not normal female behavior, I assure you. I have never seen anyone else do that. Ever.

One day, I mentioned something about this to the guy at the front desk.

“I think they’re partners,” he mused.

“You mean they have a business together?” I asked.

“No,” he answered. “As in partners.”

Oh. It took me a second, but then I got it. I hate the word “partner” for romantic relationships. It’s so cold and impersonal. But then, I really did not want to think of those two women in a romantic sense, either.

When I told my friends at work about it, they asked if it bothered me to be naked in a locker room with lesbians. I hadn’t really thought about it because these two women were so – unattractive. They gave off no sexual vibes whatsoever. Even if one of them had made a pass at me, all I would have had to do was say no thanks. Besides, it’s not as if the sight of my naked body would inspire anyone to lust. I have to rely on charm, wit and the ability to cook to entice men.

Men appear to get really threatened if another man makes a pass at them – as if that makes their masculinity somehow suspect. I don’t know that most women feel the same way. I wouldn’t necessarily take it as a compliment if a lesbian came on to me, based on the way the stereotypical lesbian looks. But I wouldn’t worry that she saw some signal in me that was flashing “lesbian” to the world, either.