You can`t fire me because I quit!

posted Mon, 25 Apr 2005

Every couple of years, this boyfriend – “Xavier” – I had in Miami emails me. Actually, I shouldn’t even go so far as to call him a boyfriend. A guy I went out with a few times.

So this was the year and this was the month to hear from Xavier. I got an email from him last week in which he told me that he had gotten married, that he had rented out his old house in Ft Lauderdale and had bought one in Hollywood (Miami Hollywood, not California Hollywood), and should he apply for the risk manager job my company had posted. (Aha! The real reason for the email, for those of you who are paying attention.)

Sexiness in a man is determined by the ability to make things work. If you can fix a car or any other machine, you can always get a girl.
Source: http://www.southcoasttoday.com/daily/01-97/01-11-97/a0346.jpg

Xavier’s emails are a lot like our dates were – complete non-sequiters. He was – is – a nice guy, but there was never really a reason for us to be together. We had nothing in common, other than both being single and the same age. I kept saying yes to his asking me out from morbid curiosity – how long would he keep dating someone with whom he couldn’t have a decent conversation?

Except, really, the issue wasn’t that he wasn’t having a decent conversation – it was that I was not having a decent conversation. He did all the talking and I did all the listening. From his end, it must have been fine.

From mine, it got really boring.

But on our first date, he fixed my washing machine.

Yes, men. The way to a woman’s heart is not through flowers, gems, or fancy meals – it is through major appliance repair. None of the others hurt, but if you can’t fix things, don’t darken my door. Men Fix Things. That is what Men Do.

And he took the train from Ft Lauderdale to Miami, then walked the mile and a half from the train stop to my house, refusing to let me pick him up. No one had ever gone through this much effort for me before. I was impressed and fascinated. I wanted to see how far he would go.

He continued to make this sort of effort, and I continued to be impressed by the effort but we never had any spark. He must have finally sensed it, because he said something. I don’t even remember what it was, but basically, he broke up with me even though I was the one who wasn’t interested in him! I was quite annoyed with the whole situation.