Saturday, February 20, 2010


I found out later that this guy was still living with his ex-wife. In the same house! But Sally thinks I should have kept dating him! Or lunching him?! Even though he hadn't even taken me on one single real date? Or told me he was LIVING WITH HIS EX-WIFE?

I don't think so.

posted Sat, 10 Sep 2005

My friend Sally at work is mad at me. She is the one who brokered a setup between me and this guy at work. Said guy and I went out a few times, but when I returned from vacation, I told him that I would not be going out with him any more.

Sally told me that I have broken his heart and couldn’t I have kept going out with him even though I have met someone else?

Don’t be cruel.

Well, no.

I have never been able to divide my affections like that.

But also – not to diminish my own appeal – but how could I break someone’s heart after going out to lunch with him only a few times?

We went out to lunch.

That’s right – to lunch – four times over a seven-week period. No evening dates. Two phone calls at work. Some emails, many instant messages.

I had told the guy – who is a very nice guy – that I was not looking for a serious relationship and that all I wanted was someone to hang out with – someone to go to the movies with, to go out to eat with.

But Sally told me he had been interested in me for a long time, so of course that was interesting to me, especially as I had always found him attractive but had thought he was married.

But I thought I had made it clear that I didn’t want anything serious.

Well. It soon became clear to me that he did want something serious. And it soon also became clear to me that no matter how much time I spent with him, I would never be interested in something serious with him, even though I still like and respect him and want nothing but the best for him. Some things you know very soon.

So when I returned from vacation, I told him I had met someone else and that I would not be seeing him any more.

Sally thinks I should have kept seeing him, even though I have become involved with someone else and even though I know I will never want anything serious with him.

I think it is cruel to lead someone on that way.

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