Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Adventures at the mall

posted Sun, 07 May 2006

So I just had that embarrassing experience where you go to Dillard’s and buy something and think, “I wonder if they have it cheaper at TJMaxx. I’ll check.” And you go to TJMaxx and find something similar only $46 cheaper, so you buy it.

Then you are left with your dilemma. When do you return the Dillard’s item? Right now, while you are out? Or later in the week, when you might find a different saleslady?

Because you really are embarrassed to return the item to the saleslady who helped you. This isn’t ordinary shopping where you just bought something by yourself. Lenora, the nice older lady, helped you. She now knows your life story. She knows you are also trying to find a birthday present for SH and that it’s an almost impossible task because when he sees something he likes, he buys it for himself. She knows you are unemployed and she blames it on the Republican administration. Oh, yes, you had quite a chat.

If you wait until later, you might be able to return the item anonymously. But if you wait until later, you’ll have to make a special trip to the mall. Either way, you are stuck.

This is where online shopping really is better.

While I was in TJMaxx, I looked at soap. One of the soap brands boasted, “Against animal testing!”

Well, now, that’s making a statement. That’s taking a stand.

I myself am proud to be against nuclear holocaust, bad grammar, poking hot needles into the eyes of small children, excess fuel consumption and wearing white shoes before Memorial Day.

Doesn’t mean I don’t occasionally indulge in a couple of these. See, I was sneaky. I said I was “against” these things. I didn’t say I “don’t do them.” Note the difference a few well-chosen words makes. Ah, the power of language. It’s available only to those of us who pay attention, though!

What’s so bad about animal testing, anyhow? Sure, I don’t think that rabbits should die so that I have a better mascara, but if rats die so that we have a cure for cancer, I’m all for it. Heck, if rats just die, I’m cool with that, too. I’m not a fan of rats. I’m not even a big rabbit fan. All rodents could be used in animal testing and you wouldn’t hear a peep out of me

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