Wednesday, March 3, 2010

A weighty problem

posted Sat, 31 Dec 2005

I want a show of hands. Women, how many of you have ever turned to your girlfriend and said, “Let’s get on the scale and see who weighs more?”

Yeah. That’s what I thought!

I didn’t see a single hand raised.

But when Serious Honey and I got to Pete and Julie’s, that’s one of the first thing that SH and Pete did – had their competitive weigh in. It’s something they have been doing since college when SH was a skinny thing and Pete was a chunky thing (“a bread truck” is the phrase Pete uses to describe himself). Both have since moved to the middle – SH is not skinny (he’s just right) and Pete is not fat (he is also just right).

But ever since college, SH has eaten what he wanted without worrying about his weight. It just won’t go up. (I know, I know. Would that we all had that problem. ED: SH is reading over my shoulder, which he knows bugs me, and telling me that he has discovered that drinking beer will make him gain weight now, which serves him right.) At our reunion in November, SH outweighed Pete for the first time in his life. It was only by one pound, but he was thrilled.

Then he met me. Started eating more fruit, drinking less beer. “I think I’m losing weight,” he says. Steps on my scale. “Maybe your scale just weighs light,” he says.

“Don’t even say that,” I snapped.

“My jeans are getting looser,” he said quickly. “I’m sure your scale is correct.”

When we got to Pete and Julie’s last night, Julie gave me the house tour. When we got to the master bathroom, SH saw the scale. He called Pete over and they each took a turn. I heard a muffled, “Damn!” as they emerged. “I’m down six pounds,” SH said, shaking his head.

Julie and I looked at each other, completely baffled. We already knew men were weird but this was beyond the pale. Men say they don’t understand women, but who can explain this?

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