posted Sun, 01 Oct 2006
I told SH the bad news that I had gained six pounds since the last time I weighed myself. He got defensive because I always blame this sort of thing on him. With good reason, I think – he takes me to good restaurants and when he’s around, I cook things I wouldn’t otherwise cook, like meals.
“You do just fine at mealtime, but it’s your snacking that’s the problem,” he said.
“I know why I’ve gained weight,” I snapped. “I don’t need you to tell me.”
“Like the other day, you were snacking on a hunk of cheese.”
“Look. I don’t want a weight-loss coach, OK? I know how this happened.”
“But you think it’s always my fault when this happ---“
“No, I don’t. OK, I think that a little. But remember, I’m the one who believes in personal responsibility and accountability, OK? I’m the one who lifted my hand to my mouth. You didn’t hold a gun to my head. So drop it.”
He went into the bathroom. I heard the sound of the scale being dragged away from the wall to the middle of the floor. When he emerged, I asked no questions. But later, when we were at the Grace-St Luke’s Festival, looking at the BBQ, roasted corn on the cob and Elvis turkey rolls, he said casually, “You know, I’ve gained five pounds. If I’m going to fit into my tux for Ilene and Patrick’s wedding, I better lose it.”
“Good! That makes things easier for me. I won’t be baking any more desserts for the next month. We have four weeks to lose five pounds each. So this means no more ‘might as well?’”
SH’s favorite food-related phrase is “might as well.” As in “might as well finish that soufflé because it won’t taste as good reheated” or “might as well eat those scraps of fat you’ve cut off your meat because otherwise they’re just going into the trash” or “might as well eat that brownie because it’s there.”
He thought about it. “Well. Maybe not. I like food! What am I supposed to do with the cookies I bought at the bake sale? And the Hob Nobs I brought from World Market today? We can’t just throw those in the trash!”
I might as well resign myself to buying a new wardrobe.
The end of the line
2 years ago