Sunday, April 4, 2010

As the World Turns

posted Sun, 10 Sep 2006

The good news is that I have found someone for my friend “Missy” to date. You remember Missy -- she’s the one who told us at the Fourth of July party that as soon as she pays off her truck, she’s going to get pregnant – married or not. (I threw in the “married or not” part. She just assumed everyone knew that’s what she meant.)

Naturally, we – her friends – were all horrified. Single motherhood is not good for children. Of course, many single moms don’t have a choice about their status and do the best they can with what life has dealt them, but we were all appalled that Missy would choose to put herself and a child in this situation. We decided we would all be on the manhunt on her behalf.

Missy wants a baby and who can blame her? Who wouldn’t want one of these? (This is Henry, for those of you who don’t recognize him.)

So there’s this guy “Bubba” at boot camp. He’s a super nice guy (but no pushover – you can be a nice guy and still have a backbone). Last week, Bubba said something about having been teased on some radio morning show about his lack of love life. When he compared his love life to his aunt’s, who is a nun, he referred to her as “it.” “The DJ jumped on me for that,” he said ruefully. “I was pretty embarrassed.”

“Are you some kind of celebrity?” I asked him. I knew he was a TV sportscaster, but I don’t have a TV, so don’t have a sense of who’s who and who’s not.

“Nah,” he said. “That radio station is owned by the same company that owns the station where I work. They needed someone at the last minute, so I got stuck.”

Self-deprecating. I like that. He talks about his great nieces and volunteers at the Ronald McDonald house. And he’s cute. All good qualities.

But it took me a couple of days to make the connection. Here’s Bubba, who’s looking for a girl. Here’s Missy, who’s looking for a guy. I love to run peoples’ lives. What took me so long?

“I have a friend,” I told Bubba last week. “Want to meet her?”

“Maybe…” he answered cautiously.

“You need to know this about her, though,” I said, as I explained The Plan. Maybe I shouldn’t have mentioned it, but I think it gives a really good insight into how Missy thinks. Some men might be bothered. Some men might not want kids, so it would be better to know up front.

Bubba was cool with it. “It shows she’s independent and tough,” he said. “I like that.”

Of course, I had to argue with him because I disagreed with him and my mission is to convert everyone in the world to my point of view before I die. But I was unsuccessful. He did, however, tell me that a good friend of his had asked him to be a “donor” and he had declined, telling her that he didn’t want to father a child he would not be raising. So perhaps he just hadn’t really thought through the other side of the issue.

I asked him to come to the returned Peace Corps volunteer party we were having last night so he could meet her casually, but he said he would be at work until 11:00. “That’s too late,” I said. “The party will probably be over by then.” I promised to tell Missy about him and report back next week.

At the party, I mentioned him to Missy. “What’s he look like? You know – my baby daddy?” she asked. (Of course! Don’t we always want to know? Bubba asked the same thing about Missy.)

I looked at the clock – it was 10:45. “Don’t they usually do sports at the end of the news? Let’s go watch!” I guessed at the channel and voila! There he was.

A collective, “Oooh! He’s cute!” escaped from the lips of the women present as a jealous twice-married Brian, who had been flirting with Missy, muttered, “He’s not right for you!”

Missy turned to me. “Yeah! I’ll go out with him!”

Stay tuned.

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