Sunday, April 25, 2010

I need to move to the Men`s Dept

posted Sat, 16 Dec 2006

How women shop:

“Do you have this in a (small, medium, large, zero, 2, 4, 6, 8, 10, 12, 14, 16, 18) or in (purple, pink, blue, yellow, orange, brown, black)?”

“Well, why can’t I find it?” Gee, I don’t know. Could it be because people put things back where they don’t belong? Maybe someone else is trying it on? Or remember I told you the part that the system has a 2-day lag and maybe we really don’t have it after all?

"I really, really, really want it!" Ma’am, would you like me to order it for you from another store? They can send it to your house. There is about a $10 shipping charge. “No.”

“Would you hold these 20 items for me? Yes, I’ll be back to buy them. In half an hour. Really. Really.” They never come back.

Is this all for you, ma’am? “No – let me think.” Wanders off to shop some more. Leaves a stack of stuff on the counter. May or may not return.

“What do you mean these are smalls? I don’t want smalls! How did I get smalls? No, I don’t want to buy smalls. I don’t want these.” Leaves everything on the counter.

Ma’am, should I fold these and put them in the bag for you? “No! I want them on the hangers!” (As if I had suggested gouging out her eyes.)

Would you like to open a Store credit account? You’ll save 20% for opening the account on all purchases today and tomorrow and another 20% on most other items in the store. “No!” (Again, as if I had suggested gouging out her eyes.)

How men shop:

Put stack of stuff on counter. Look at me expectantly. Is this all for you, sir? “Yes." Duh! Why else would I be here?

Would you like me to leave these on the hangers? “No. In the bag is fine." Puzzled. Why would anyone want to carry clothes on a hanger instead of in a bag? It’s harder to carry them on a hanger.

Would you like to open a Store credit account? You’ll save 20% for opening the account on all purchases today and tomorrow and another 20% on most other items in the store. For this purchase, that comes out to about $200. “Sure.”

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