Friday, April 30, 2010

Our shared secret shame, or, out of the People closet

posted Sun, 14 Jan 2007

I don’t know how SH knew – it couldn’t have been the almost imperceptible, subtleissimo hints I have been dropping for the past year, like, “Steve gave Megan a subscription to People magazine for her birthday one year – isn’t that the best present you’ve ever heard of?” – but he got me a – guess! – subscription to People magazine for Christmas. The first issue arrived yesterday.

How did he know? Does this man get me or what? Now I don’t have to pick the longest line at the grocery store any more.

After relentless interrogation, I finally got SH to admit that “everyone likes to read a bit of gossip now and then” and “do you really think Justin and Cameron have broken up?” This from the man who graduated magna cum laude with a degree in electrical engineering at the age of 20.

But now I am suspicious. I thought this present was about me. But last night, when I went to my desk to get said magazine – where I had been saving it all day, untouched – so I could open the virgin issue myself, I could not find it. Odd. I knew I had left it on my desk, next to my computer. Where could it be? Maybe I had already moved it to my room and had forgotten about it, although that is not like me. I don’t lose things.

I walked back to my room and what did I see but SH reading it.


He was reading my magazine.

And he didn’t hand it over immediately with some lame excuse like, “I was warming it up for you.”

No. He kept reading. I had to rip the magazine out of his hands.

This is not such a bad thing. SH likes to stay up late in smoky bars; I don’t drink, I hate smoke, and I like to go to bed early. He likes to eat things I would use as bait. He accumulates stuff; I hate clutter.

At last, we have something in common.

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