Sunday, April 25, 2010

Remembering disability

posted Fri, 15 Dec 2006

SH is the Rememberer in our relationship. A few months after we started dating, he would say, “It’s been three months since This Event or That Event.”

“Really?” I would muse as I tried to hide the fact that I couldn’t even remember the event in question. “That long, huh?”

Then came the Six Month Anniversary of Our First Kiss. He Remembered me about it. Yes, SH is a guy. And he remembers these things. And I do not. Holy smoke. We had a first kiss? Yes, I suppose we did. Every couple does. I mean, Yes! We did! And it was fabulous! Well, actually, it was. SH is a wonderful kisser. He’s an engineer and anyone who has ever seen “Revenge of the Nerds” knows the truth about engineers.

That’s why he remembers everything, too. That engineer brain tracks everything with computer-like precision. I don’t stand a chance. I’m a language person. I’m all about subtext and relationships (well, in books, anyhow – I don’t do so well with the people kind). Math? Pffft. I gave all that up after calculus and differential equations. The liberal arts is where it’s at. I’ve never even balanced my checkbook. Who needs that stuff?

I’m not big on ritual and formality, either. The only reason I went to my high school graduation is because my parents made me. I didn’t go to my graduate school graduation because why bother? I was going to Europe for the summer and graduation wasn’t until ten days after finals were over and I wasn’t going to stick around for it. I’ve never cared if a boyfriend makes a big deal about Valentine’s Day, especially when BF is wonderful throughout the rest of the year, which he usually is, although I am kind of a stickler for my birthday but that’s because of my college boyfriend birthday trauma, and anniversaries are meh – so what? Especially anniversaries of the three- and six-month variety.

But I am very impressed that SH remembers this stuff and I am trying to get better about remembering so I can keep up. I am very competitive, you know, even though I am a liberal arts person. I did remember the one-year anniversary of our meeting, mostly because it fell very conveniently on Veterans’ Day (or somewhere around there – that’s the beauty of having a blog – you can look this stuff up – we met at our college reunion, so it’s documented), so I sent him an email about it. Then the subsequent one-year anniversaries came right after that, right around Thanksgiving, so I was able to get pretty close – first date, first kiss (which was at the wine shop -- see, I remember!), etc.

But then he tested me and proved he’s still better than I am. He gave me one of my Christmas presents when he was here this weekend – a Christmas ornament.

“Do you remember where I got this?” he asked.

“Nooooooo,” I said. I didn’t know there was going to be a pop quiz.

“We saw it, you liked it and I made you go somewhere else so I could buy it as a surprise,” he said.

“Oh! When we were in England?” I asked hopefully.


“At the arts fair in Milwaukee?”

He shook his head. “No.”

I looked up and to the right, hoping to find the answer on my ceiling. “At the farmers’ market in Florida?”


“Ummmm… At Ilene’s wedding?”


My shoulders slumped. “I give up.”

“At the Pink Palace fair. Remember you waited for me where they were making sorghum? Didn’t you wonder what I was doing for so long?”

“Well, no. I wasn’t really paying attention.”

He rolled his eyes and shook his head. It’s amazing he hasn’t broken up with me yet. It's a good thing I can cook is all I can say.

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