Customer: Do you have any cashmere sweaters?
Me: Yes, in the center aisle, folded on tables.
Customer: Are they nice?
Me: Um, yes.
Customer [glares at me]: Well, if I had nice cashmere sweaters, I sure wouldn’t have them folded on tables!
Me, considering possible responses:
1. Why don’t you call the CEO and tell him?
2. What would you do, put them on hangers and pull them out of shape?
3. I’ve been on my feet for nine and a half hours. I was supposed to clock out five minutes ago. You’ve made me lose count closing this register. Now I’m going to have to start over again with these one-dollar bills, which are a pain in the neck to count when they’re brand new. Do I look like I give a damn about your opinion of The Store’s merchandising strategy?
Me: [blank stare, count to ten in my head until she goes away]