First date = last date

posted Sun, 21 Jan 2007

At the bar at The Bistro last night, which was the only place to eat if you didn’t have a reservation, due to the monster truck pull at the FedEx Forum.

Bartender [to the dressed-up late 30’s couple that sat next to SH and me. The woman put her purse in SH’s space.]: Hi. Are you folks here for supper?

Man: Yes. I was here for New Year’s Eve last year. This is a different menu.

Bartender: Well, that was a while ago and it was a special menu. I’m Chris, the other bartender is also Chris, and there’s a Gretchen floating around.

Man: It must get confusing at Chris mas!

Bartender [strained smile]: Yes sir. What can I get you folks to drink?

Woman: Do you have any merlot?

Bartender: Yes, these three here on the wine list.

Woman: I don’t like anything too bitter or dry.

Bartender: Try this.

Woman [wrinkles cute little nose]: Oooh. Too bitter. I don’t like it.

Bartender: OK. What about this one?

Woman [shakes carefully coiffed little head]: I don’t like that one either.

Man: She doesn’t like anything too bitter or too dry.

Bartender: This is the last merlot. What do you think?

[Gay couple to their left watches carefully; SH and I watch; bartender watches.]

Woman: I don’t like that either.

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Woman: Those potatoes with the duck – is it possible to substitute something else, like green beans?

Bartender: Well, the way they make this dish, it’s a composed dish, it’s built up, so technically I suppose they could, but it wouldn’t be as pretty. I’d have to ask the kitchen. [The Bistro is run by a pretty famous Memphis chef. He probably doesn’t like to have his creations messed with.]

Me to SH: She doesn’t eat any carbs! How boring is that?!

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He orders first and does not order for her. Rude, rude, rude. Not saying the guy should order for the woman these days -- some women don't like that -- but he should at least let her order first. It is what gentlemen do.

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Man: What do you want for dessert? That pecan pie looks really great!

Woman: I’m not going to have dessert. I’ll just have some of yours.

Man: Why don’t you just get a dessert?

Woman: I don’t want dessert. I’ll just have some of yours.

Man: But why don’t you just order your own?