posted Fri, 07 Sep 2007
SH is now sorting through his jeans. We have put nine, yes, nine, huge shopping bags of shirts in the car to take to charity, but my work here is not yet done.
The old jeans that haven’t been worn in ten years might need to go. Granted, SH has a point that he can sell old Levi’s – I saw some on eBay going for over $200 a pair. Sure, the homeless need clothes and hotel soap and shampoo, but twelve pairs of old jeans times $200 a pair is nothing to sneeze at.
Actually, there is nothing wrong with the jeans except some of them are a little bit out of fashion.
Or don’t fit.
Or don’t hug SH’s nice butt the way I would like. For the record, SH likes loose pants because they are more comfortable and I totally understand that. I’m just saying if you have an asset, you should show it off.*
But when he pulled out the straight-leg Levi’s 31x32 and told me he didn’t like that style, I told him I would take them off his hands and put them into my own closet.
“Those are way too long for you,” he pointed out.
Well, sure, but I can roll up the cuffs. Or hem them. I am handy that way.
But when I tried them on, they swam on me.
How can this be? I wear a 31 or 32 waist in regular men’s jeans.
“These are relaxed fit, aren’t they?” I asked him.
Yes, they were, he admitted.
They’re not real 31s, are they?
“Relaxed fit” is Levi’s code for “We know your waist size has increased since college but you don’t want to admit it, so we are helping you with your denial. Eat all you want and keep buying the same size!” I didn’t think there was a way around men’s sizing, what with using actual inches for everything, but Levi’s found a loophole.
* Even though I don’t want him showing off too much. He already gets hit on in his loose clothes. He went out to sing last night (I stayed home and went to bed early) and two women hit on him. One of them walked up and put her arm around him! A little bold, don’t you think?
I don’t blame her, though – he is a cutie.
(Yes, he told both of them he had a girlfriend so just lay off, buckettes.)
The end of the line
11 months ago