At SH’s church, we do not hold hands during the Our Father (aka “The Lord’s Prayer” for you Protestants). We are a cold, stiff people in Wisconsin. We do not want to hold even the clean, unsweaty hands of people unknown to us.
So whose idea was it for us to do-si-do with the sweaty woman next to us in the Zumba class? (The class with the fake Latin music.) Not only to link elbows and skip around, but to do so free form, thus robbing us of the quality most sought in an exercise class – structure? Unless directed otherwise, we Midwesterners are the type of people to stand quietly looking at the floor and mind our own business. We smile politely at the other women in class, but then wait for our orders. If the order is to basically exercise on our own (in pairs), what is the point of being in the class?
Even worse, if the order is to exercise on our own to the blaring fake Latin music, we really don’t know what to do. How do we keep the rhythm without an instructor to watch? How many circles do we skip with the woman on the right before we switch to the woman on the left? Should we introduce ourselves? Must we make eye contact? Do we have to smile? What if it’s actually not a woman but the weird shoeless guy with the Amish beard who looks at the floor the entire class? Do we have to link elbows with him?
I am ready to return to boot camp, where there is no room for personal initiative.
The end of the line
11 months ago