Thursday, September 30, 2010

Mister Landlord

posted 06/07/08

We got the list of items that must be clean for SH to get his apartment deposit back. I called to ask if I can be present for the inspection.


I asked how much it costs for them to do the cleaning.

$30 an hour.

I’ll clean for $30/hour. I’ve never seen a maid clean as well as I do. I’d be happy to take $30/hour to do a crummy job.

Among the things we have to clean (and this is the short list):

Clean the “chandelier” in the dining room. You and I both know that thing wasn’t clean when SH moved in. We know the previous occupant/the cleaning service did not remove each of the five glass whatchamcallits that cover the bulbs and wash them, as I just did. We know they didn’t dust the chain and the arms.

Stove drip pans. Oh sure.

Windows and storm windows (that is, remove the windows and clean the storm windows, too.) Right. Those were clean when SH moved in. Please.

Baseboards. As if.

We know they didn’t clean the shower. I just did so, with a mixture of Ajax with bleach and caustic bathroom cleaner, which you’re not supposed to do, but which is the only way to clean those stupid plastic pebbly showers that get dirty at the drop of a hat. Porcelain is way better but cheap construction materials win every time.

We know they didn’t clean the oven. Or behind the oven or the refrigerator. But we’ll do it, or get charged.

I need to get into the landlord bidness. It looks like an easy way to get rich.

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