Monday, October 18, 2010

Animal liberation #2

posted 07/02/08

Pet lovers, sharpen your pens and get ready to send me the hate mail. But I think this is a stupid, stupid way to spend money: the pet cemetery near where SH used to live has closed and people are moving their pet’s corpses.

[S]he paid $1,500 for a grave and marker at Thistlerose for her bichon, Bjorn, in 2005. Now she's shelling out nearly $1,000 more for a new spot and moving expenses.

A. Who spends $1,500 on a grave and a marker for a dog? We loved our cat, O’Malley, and we still talk about him, even though it’s been over 20 years since he died, but when he died, my dad buried him in the back yard. Without a coffin. He’s been tomato fertilizer for whomever lives at 8302 Brookline for years. At that time, $1,500 was half a year’s tuition at my private university. It is more than I paid for my first car.

When my cat was hit by a car in Miami and my neighbor, who knew about it suspiciously quickly, ran to tell me that my cat was lying in the street, I picked the cat up and put his body in the trash can. I would have buried him but I didn’t have a shovel. It never occurred to me to spend money to put him in a pet cemetery. I didn’t even know such things existed. I hadn’t read that Evelyn Waugh book yet. (What’s it called? The one about pet cemeteries?)

B. Who pays $1,000 to move a pet’s corpse from one pet cemetery to another? I wouldn’t want anyone to spend that money to move my corpse. Family and SH, you are hereby put on notice that you are not required to move my body if the cemetery goes out of business. You can leave me right where I am. Use the money for a trip to London or a party. And don’t embalm me!

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