Saturday, October 30, 2010

Chocolate for the feet

posted 07/15/08

Just the other day, I was thinking that I needed some new sandals (not wanted, but needed, the way I need oxygen) and wishing that Bass still made those cool leather sandals I wore when I was in college – those fabulous went-with-everything and were sooo comfortable thongs that didn’t make that annoying thong flapping noise that I have grown to hate so much that I would never convict anyone who murdered a thong-wearing flapper because I think it’s justifiable homicide – and guess what happened?

I walked into DSW to use my $10 coupon that was about to expire (of course I had noted the expiration date in my calendar, along with a three-week warning, because I have been burned before and I am capable of Learning My Lesson) and guess what I saw?

I saw these sandals:

[Imagine photo of Bass sandals here. I can't get it to copy.]

It was as if God was speaking to me, saying, “CF, I know the music stinks in the Catholic Church right now and I don’t know what that’s all about, except I think they think they don’t have competition, unlike the Protestants, who understand that there is more to it than having the Complete Truth, and I also think the US bishops, bless their hearts, are a bunch of soixant-huiters who think that Marty Haugan is the bomb and trust Me, We’ll have a little talk about that when they get here because honestly, all that inspiration I gave those guys who wrote those gorgeous hymns like ‘A Mighty Fortress is Our God’ and ‘Ave Maria’ and do I ever get to hear them from The One True Church? No! So anyhoo, to make up for your having to listen to merde at church every week – except the weeks you go to SH’s church, I am giving you the opportunity to buy the sandals you were dreaming of last week.”

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