Saturday, October 30, 2010

Let's just kiss and say good-bye

posted 07/17/08

Dear Contractor,

It’s time for us to start seeing other people.

No. This is not a breakup! Really, it’s not. It can’t be. You still haven’t finished rebuilding our balcony. You know – the one you tore down last Thursday? And were going to rebuild on Friday but then it rained, so I got that. But what about Saturday? Or Sunday? Monday? Today?

Yeah, your helper is irresponsible. You thought he was going to do it on Saturday. Or Monday. You were out of town for four days. (Did I know that? No, I did not. Would that have been useful information? Yes, it would.) You didn’t call him to check to see that he was working. But if you know that he’s irresponsible, shouldn’t you have checked to make sure he was on the job?

It’s not that I don’t like you – I do, honest. If we have a party, we’ll invite you for sure. I enjoy our phone conversations, especially now that I know we’re both on AT&T and that it doesn’t cost me a penny to talk to you. It’s sure not the quality of your work, but I need someone who can get the job done.

I know you have health problems and that your helper is a recovering drug addict (oh, I was so happy to learn that little fact, although it was tempered slightly by the fact that he was addicted to painkillers for his knee problems), but guess what? I don’t give a flying flip about your personal problems. Sorry, but I don’t. Ours is a business relationship. All I care about is that I gave you a deposit to do this job two months ago and it’s STILL NOT DONE.

So even though you’re an excellent carpenter and do fabulous work, I’ll be calling someone else to do my repairs in the future.



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