Thursday, November 11, 2010

Midwestern time vs Southern time

posted 07/28/08

Midwesterners! It is just as rude to arrive early as it is to arrive late!

Handyman #2, you did not impress me by showing up an hour earlier than I told you to be at the apartment on the day we moved. Instead, you caused me a great deal of stress and aggravation.

Why? Because you screwed up my meal planning. I had already taken all the food from the apartment to the house except what SH and I were going to eat on moving day. You showed up at lunch time. When we were about to eat the only food we had left in the apartment. My mama didn’t raise a rude person who would ask someone to sit in her home and watch her eat, so of course we offered you something, which you took, even though you had come straight from your part-time job to a job you knew would run to 6:00 p.m., so why didn’t you stop at Subway on your way over or were you planning to do six hours of physical labor on an empty stomach?, but it meant we ate less than we wanted of decent food and had to fill up on the cookies* in the freezer that Imelda had sent SH five years ago in an attempt to win him back.

So Handyman #2, I meant it when I told not to arrive before 8:30 a.m. last week. Given your history, I guess I should be glad you arrived at 8:20 instead of 7:30, but didn’t my repeated refrain of “Not before 8:30! We’ll still be in pajamas.” mean anything to you? If you arrive early to someone’s house, drive around the block until the desired time. Go get some coffee. But don’t ring my doorbell earlier than I have told you.**

* They weren’t even homemade, so she couldn’t have been too serious if you ask me. Not that I mind filling up on cookies, but if I am going to be lifting and carrying things, I want to eat protein and complex carbs, not sugar.

** That’s not why you’re being fired. You’re being fired because you slopped paint all over the bricks. We don’t understand – the rest of your work was so painstakingly careful and then you go and get oil-based paint on the brick, which is almost impossible to get off, unless, of course, you grind off a layer of brick, which is what you did after I pointed out the problem to you, but as you would probably agree, is not the most desirable solution. So it’s back to our doesn’t call and doesn’t show up when he says he will contractor because even though he is unreliable, his work is immaculate. If we have to pick between a handyman who shows up when he says he will (and earlier) but does sloppy work and one who shows up when he feels like it but does absolutely perfect work, we’ll put up with being surprised.

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