Me [trying to cross street by junior high right after school lets out]: Please don't cross with me.
Crossing guard: I have to. It's my job.
Me: No, it's not. I'm 45 years old. I don't need a crossing guard.
CG: I have to.
Me: I am not a kindergartner. This is ridiculous. I'm just going to go the other way.
CG: It's not that embarrassing.
Me: It's pretty silly.
And then I jaywalked. Alone. Ha.